It stopped me in my tracks. Sadly, I'd have nothing. I'm not what I consider a religious person, I'm not in-your-face with my beliefs as I believe everyone is entitled to believe in who or what they choose too. My spiritual side is rather private, I do talk to my savior but it's quiet, silent. I beg and plead with Him for so many selfish things, I offer up prayers for friends and family that I know are struggling or ill but I very rarely thank Him for what I do have. Part of the reason for starting this blog is to help me change my way of thinking, I really need to be grateful for what I have, instead of whining about what I want and don't have the time/money/energy for.
Learning of the death of a co-worker who lost his brief battle with cancer this week has left me melancholy. He was a good man, hard worker, always a smile and he moved at the speed of sound. After a routine hernia operation and while in recovery at home, the cancer that was ravishing his body reared it's ugly head and left him almost paralyzed. In trying to diagnose that new development they performed an MRI where they discovered his body was riddled with tumors, so much so that they said it was too far along to try to combat it. The transfer to the James Cancer Center in Columbus brought a few rounds of chemo to shrink the tumor that was pressing on his spine causing the paralysis. It shrunk enough to give him some relief and they removed that one to enabled him to walk again with help. His last few weeks of life were filled with pain but he was surrounded by his family and friends and he was loved...by many.
I am trying to turn my thoughts to positive ones but it's a struggle...a daily struggle. I have to keep in mind that I am far better off then so many others are, I have many blessings and I need to be grateful for that.
So sorry to hear about the loss of your friend, Nadine:( I do believe that consciously acknowledging your blessings will help you through your struggle; it has me. About six years ago my 16 year old niece tried to end her life. Long story short...she survived, after a liver transplant and now brain damage. Something clicked in me during those early days of bedside vigil in the children's ICU. Every morning since then I begin my day quietly and privately ticking off all the blessings in my life (gratefully, it's a long list!) and end my days in the same way. It's fundamentally changed my life in ALL ways good. Thinking about you and wishing you sunshine days ahead:)
ReplyDelete~Cindy